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THIS MESSAGE WILL DISINTEGRATE IN 5 MINUTES!
Colleen….Google has GONE ROGUE….I repeat has GONE ROGUE. It has infiltrated enemy lines with WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. Your Mission is to assume a NEW identity (ENCLOSED)…Capture Google & DO ALL THINGS NECESSARY To Subdue Google Into SUBMISSION!
Once You Have Cracked Its Top Secret Codes Report Back To Me ASAP!”
I Was Exhausted From My Last Mission, Hadn’t Slept A Wink In 72 Hours But…Duty Calls…I Had Suspected Google Was On The Verge Of Going Rogue….*SIGH*….It’s A Slippery Little Sucker (I Think I’ve Got My Work Cut Out For Me!”
Now Colleen It’s Time To Go Shopping For Your New Alias (This One Is Going To Be Fun!)….
“Quinn, It’s Colleen. I’ve Assumed My Identity. My Contacts Tell Me That Google Is In The United States Under Heavy Disguise….I’m Taking The Red Eye & Will Be There At 0300 Hours…!”
(Colleen, Bleary Eyed, Whistles For A Cab)
“Take Me To The Round Up Saloon, 3553 Mount Diablo Boulevard!”
(Figures I’d Find Google at a place where pool cues are replaced weekly).
33 Minutes Later….
(This has got to be the WORST jukebox on the planet).
It’s just like sleazybars.com said….
“Sleazy, smoke-filled, mullet-infested den of white trash metalheads”
(I’m used to men staring but THIS is ridiculous).
My eyes start to hurt from the smoke. I could sexily saunter around the bar BUT I know what Google likes and I’m confident he’ll find me pretty quickly when he sees what I’m wearing :O)
“A Sierra Nevada, thanks!”